Let’s talk about…shhhhhh

First, thanks to Ostomy Secrets Facebook page for pointing to this blog.  This actually inspired me to write a post about…well…..

Let’s be frank, shall we?  There can be those private moments when a gal doesn’t want to think about an ostomy. I’m very blessed to have a wonderful husband who doesn’t seem to notice or care about my ilesotomy. But, it still bothers me in those intimate moments. Sometimes I wrap a scarf around my waist. Other times…and this is going to sound totally weird and I can’t believe I’m even writing this publicly….I wear a tight t-shirt or tank top around my waist. When I do this, the shirt is bunched up (let’s call it ruched to be fancy) and resting above my thighs.  It holds my ileostomy in place but admittedly may not look fabulous. Usually, though,  I am…..well…..au naturalle, and don’t think about it until I hear the crink-crink-crinkling of my ileostomy.

I’ve been thinking about purchasing the Ostomy Secrets “Foxy Wrap.”  These look very va-va-va voom. Rrrrrrr. Seems like it could be a good solution. I also have looked into the My Hip-T. Even though these are not designed for this purpose, I wonder if they could help ‘contain’ the situation.

Can I tell you a secret? I did something totally daring recently. On a lark, I scheduled a “boudoir” photo shot to surprise my husband with a photo book. This was something COMPLETELY unexpected for me to do, and actually was a great deal of fun. This was a really big deal for me and, honestly, I’m so proud of myself for doing it. I’ve come a long way from the girl who was self-conscious about her ileostomy and wore baggy pants two sizes too big just to hide in them. Still, I really stressed over what to wear for the pics. I delved into the world of lingerie to find things that made me feel sexy and look photo-ready.

My favorite outfit was this slip from Victoria’s Secret. I was so excited when I discovered that I could wear this….I was able to fold my ileostomy in a way that it was hiding behind the pink panel in the front. I went all out with the garters, stockings, heels and even wore a long strand of pearls. Doing the photo shoot was quite liberating. And it is really a thrill to look at the photos and not think “Hmm…can you see my ilesotomy?” but instead think “Dang, that’s me!!”


2 responses to “Let’s talk about…shhhhhh

  1. Thank you so much for this wonderful, honest post. And what a fantastic, inspirational idea (regarding the photobook)! I had an ileostomy formed in April and have been exploring how to make myself feel confident in both intimate and normal settings since my operation. It’s a bit of a rollercoaster ride (I wasn’t the most confident person beforehand!), but I found your post really encouraging.

    Well done for doing the photoshoot – it sounds like a lot of fun! And the slip you linked to is beautiful; I’m in the UK and bought a similar one from La Senza a while back that I’ve worn a lot since my op; they’re great, because they both hide the bag and give smooth lines. I sometimes wear my Comfizz waist belt, which helps to keep everything tucked in and minimise any “crinkling”, but I sometimes find even that momentarily distracting. I’m sure it’ll be less of a problem once I’m more familiar with having the bag there.

    I’m a big fan of stockings, too – I used to feel really self-conscious when wearing them, but now wear them most days, in addition to in the bedroom. I like the fact that they’re more “airy”. 🙂

    Anyway, thanks again for the inspirational post.
    Best wishes,



  2. Sara, Thank you for the comment! Welcome to ilesostomy club. I genuinely understand what you mean about it being a roller coaster ride! I hope that with the ileostomy you are feeling better.

    I was really proud of myself for doing this photoshoot….and it was really more for me than for my husband. Very empowering! Isn’t lingerie great!? When you get the right one, you can feel sexy and pretty in it, and not think about the ileostomy. I really need to get myself a waistbelt, like the one you mention.

    I think it is great that you are finding lingerie and stockings that meet your needs so soon after the surgery. Now that’s inspiring! It took me WAY too long to explore those options, and I wish I had pursued them sooner.


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