Category Archives: Uncategorized

To the Right, To the RIght

I happened to stop into the store New York and Company briefly the other day, and was really excited to get a top with some interesting detail. Here you can see the blouse on my Pinterest page. Or, you can see it directly on the store’s site.

I just love this blouse! It is form fitting, but the draped material falls in just the right place. What place is that, you ask? On the right side!! Have you noticed that most details on dresses or blouses seem to fall on the left side? So many times, I’ve wondered why things are placed to the left and not the right. Like, check out this wrap dress or this dress.

Why? I have no idea.Maybe this has something to do with the same oddities of  men’s and women’s buttons? Who knows. I suppose even this blouse with the draped fabric does follow the same form of slanting down and ending (at least visually) on the left.

In the meantime, I love this blouse and am always keeping my eyes peeled for clothing that will not pull across my right side.

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Once Again, With More Cowbell

Yes, I’m thinking of that Saturday Night Live skit from way back when! Why? Well, I was thinking of embellishments on clothing and somehow ended up thinking about the embellishments with the cowbell. At any rate, I was musing over how some of my favorite clothing items are actually classic-leaning trends. These trends often include embellishments on shirts and dresses — ruffles, layers, embroidery, ruching, wild prints or other fun elements that can be our friends.

Now of course there are a ton of trends that are foes as opposed to friends. We don’t need to review all of those since the list would be too extensive. But at least it is a double-edged sword. Along with the bad can come the good!

So, what trends are we seeing now in the stores that could be friends to those of us in the ostomy chic party?

  • Peplums — Peplums often have a higher waist and are loose around the midsection. Huzzah!
  • Fit and Flare — I love that things are being labeled as “Fit and Flare.” Stores don’t want to call it an A-line? No idea why, but “Fit and Flare” is descriptive. Again, another option that is figure flattering and then usually not tight around the midriff.
  • Structured Lace — Lace adds dimension and layers to an outfit. The pattern in lace can help distract the eye. Plus it lends a softer edge when coupled with stiffer, more structured material.

That’s just a few. I’ll let you know if I think of more (and feel free to do the same). In the meantime, more cowbell!

The Rules

It seems like the only way I am able to get any clothes is via mail order, usually placed at 11:00 in the evening.  With that said, I can often glance at something and tell if there is a good chance that it could work well for me or not. I have a number of rules in my mind, and 9 times out of 10, they really are a help. Of course those rules apply to me and my above-the-waist ileostomy, so mileage may vary!

Here are my rules:

  1. Fabric — Structured fabrics are usually best! Clingy fabrics will usually reveal more of an outline of my ilesotomy than I would be comfortable with. But, it is possible for me to find something in a jersey knit or other clingy fabric if it appears that it will be looser around my waist, or the fabric is criss-crossed, wrapped or behaves in a way that gives some structure and weight. Patterns are a plus, particularly on any thing closer cut; they provide a visual distraction and make any outline of my ileostomy less obvious.  Flowy materials are great with a-line skirts or dresses, as long as they aren’t see through and don’t cling too much.
  2. Fit — For pants, I prefer a fit that sits just below or at my natural waistline.  As I’ve mentioned before, ultra-low rise usually do not work well on me. You know how stores come up with cute names for the different cuts of their pants? Anything with “modern” in the name, and I need to run the opposite direction since they are inevitably tight and oh so low! In addition, I find that pants with belt-loops work better on me, and ones that are shaped with an almost half-moon shape (I think they are called contour waistline) are not my friend.
  3. Flair — With dresses, A-line or non-body hugging sheaths are my go-to options. I do a love a high-waisted pencil skirt. Was I born in the wrong decade (or century)?
  4. Color — I find dark colors or vibrant patterns seem to work well. As much as I would like to get over my fear of wearing white pants, I doubt that will happen any time soon! I love color though, so often find that I add a pop of color through scarves, jewelry or a top layer (shrugs, sweaters, jackets).
  5. Layers — I tend to layer a tank top  under whatever I am wearing since it helps compress everything and makes me feel more confident that I will not flash the world if my shirt rides up when I am picking up one of my children. I often think about layers, and would consider wearing something tight if it could be balanced out with a bulkier layer. For example, I would wear leggings with a cute, clingy tunic/short dress as long as I could also wear a sweater on top.

That’s my list for now! What do you look for when shopping for clothes?

Mommy Mojo & Odd Questions

Wow….I’ve been so bad about checking in! But, I hope you understand and I do appreciate those of you who have contacted me to see if I’m okay. The very good news is that our baby boy and girl were born in early February. They are doing great, and our 4-year-old son is also adjusting to life as a big brother. We are so lucky that all went smoothly and the twins are both healthy and growing well. Plus, they are so darned cute. 🙂

It’s pretty busy and hectic though. Don’t get me wrong…I know how incredibly lucky we are to have this gorgeous family and I am eternally grateful. But, I am finding it a challenge to maintain my mommy mojo all the time! The lack of sleep of course is potent and it is very challenging to not really have a moment to myself. But we are doing well and it’s incredibly exciting. I will attempt to return to this blog….but please forgive any delays.

And now for a tangent……

As you know, we worked with a surrogate who helped to carry our (they are genetically ours) babies into the world.  She is such an amazing person. Throughout this process I found people would ask the oddest and also very personal questions about surrogacy. It reminds me of when I first had the ileostomy surgery and the bizarre and very personal questions that I would be asked by co-workers and acquaintances. I usually just try to respond as honestly as possible, but I never cease to be amazed at the chutzpah people have to ask these questions! Sometimes you just have to laugh! I bet we’ve all endured those odd questions.

 

Times are a Changin’

So, I started this with the best of intentions to post on a somewhat normal basis. Clearly that has not been the case. I’ve got some exciting things brewing, and they are clearly occupying my mental space! Maybe I should let you know so you don’t think I totally disappeared.

We are expecting twins in a few weeks! Yes, twins! You are probably wondering why I never posted about being pregnant with an ileostomy. Funny you should ask. Since I’m not able to safely carry a pregnancy, we are working with a surrogate who is carrying our genetic children. It’s amazing. And sort of like the Twilight Zone. But amazing! The surrogate is such a giving, loving, wonderful person…this is the ultimate thing to do for someone. We are so blessed to be at this point. It’s been a pretty long road to get here.

So, that’s what is going on. We expect the babies in February, and I’m hopeful they don’t make an early debut. We are frantically trying to get things ready, but are no where close. In the end though, I know how very lucky we are. So, I’m sure you understand if my mind is elsewhere? Thank you. 🙂

Let’s Get Physical….or How Lycra Can be Your Friend

Knowing that I’ve considered joining a gym for some time now, my wonderful husband got me a one month gym membership for my birthday so I could try a “test run.” He knows me well enough to sense I would freak out if he bought a year membership as a surprise.  I would have said things like “But I’m not sure” and “Do I have time?” Yet, for a month, well….I would give it a shot.

I’m totally digging it, and have since joined for good. Of course there is the ever-present issue of when I will go. But at least for now I am trying to go once a week, usually on the weekend. Also, as a bonus for new members, I get two free sessions with a personal trainer. I’m still achy from the session four days ago.

Being a total novice to the gym I had to figure out what the heck to wear. I wanted something comfortable, non-restricting, and also not super tight against my ileostomy. The first time I went to take a class, I had NOTHING appropriate to wear and ended up wearing loose fitting lounge/sweat pants and a tee shirt. It worked but wasn’t quite right.

I tried on some different pants, and ended up getting some Adidas capris (like these, but not plus size…not that there is anything wrong with being plus size). I got them at an outlet, so the price was right. I liked these since they are not super low rise and they are loose enough. It’s really amazing how low-rise some of these work out pants are!

These pants worked well, but I needed at least one other pair of, well, something. I then stepped into Lucy and splurged on some training pants. The sales person encouraged me to try these on (regardless of my fear of the tight fit), and wow! They are super comfortable and, despite being form fitting, they are high enough that I didn’t feel self conscious about my ileostomy as long as I have a longer shirt on top. I ended up buying a shirt from them too. The actual shirt is longer than pictured here. It worked out great! And I love the feeling of lycra holding in my ileostomy. I don’t even think about it while I’m working out, or taking a class (Zumba, anyone?)

Anyways, I’m optimistic I can stick to it and start feeling stronger. Having clothes that I feel confident in certainly make going to the gym more appealing. What do you work out in?

One step forward, two steps back…

This weekend I attended a friend’s wedding, and got the chance to wear the dress I previously posted about.  You might recall that I wrote about how the persuasive sales lady encouraged me to wear a dress in a smaller size than I am used to. I mused how I probably wear clothes that are too big, and how I need to be aware of my body size and not be afraid to wear the ‘right’ size.

Well, the dress did indeed make me feel like a princess. However, it was very tight across my abdomen. It didn’t pull, but I found myself incredibly self-conscious of if anyone could see the outline of my ileostomy. I kept dashing to the ladies room to empty my appliance. Admittedly, this could have been caused by any number of things. Do you ever feel like your body changes from day to day? Maybe the day I bought this was one of those “skinny” days where everything looks good, and the day of the wedding was one of those “bloated” days where everything feels a bit off.

Even so, I think I learned a few lessons from this. Yes, it is important to not be afraid of wearing properly fitting clothes! But, it is also important to feel comfortable in the outfit. And in my case, that means not worrying that people can or cannot see the appliance. I just cannot relax if I am worried about it. Is it too much to ask to look good AND feel good (physically and mentally that is)? All part of the continuing clothing hunt…